Fancy That

Thoughts are something that run wild. They can make or break a person, but no matter the content, they are, sometimes unfortunately, necessary. I have been thinking a lot lately about a recurring subject in my life. It seems to pop up where ever I am- at work, school, dreams, life plans, goals, desires. etc. Its funny how no matter you shove something in the back of your mind, it doesn't ever stick there. I continue to remind myself that maybe I need to let go of the control I have over my life and just let everything fall into place, but what fun would that be for the half of me that is type a? At the same time, I feel like planning makes me feel responsible and poised, but does anyone else see that if I never share my thoughts? I am keeping them hidden here, in my blog, a place for thoughts!! I wish that technology would come to be so advanced that I could think, and then somehow, the information would be presented perfectly on a crisp paper in a beautifully bound book. Oh how I love technology.

So in the part of my life that I CAN express, I am so overwhelmed with the measly 13 units I am taking. This is the least amount of school I have done, but I just feel so tired and up to my knees all the time. I hate opening at work, but can you really complain when you want life to go beautifully? Maybe opening is making me a less selfish person (of which I am not already- selfish that is) so that I can uncontrollably pour out my love and time on my family, which is ultimately how I would choose for life to go. I have noticed, lately, that I care about myself, but just enough to ensure that I am growing how I would like to and that I am healthy. Otherwise, I delight in serving others. I would rather do about 13,000 things for someone else before doing something for myself. I think it makes the world a happier place, so I do what I can for a greater common good. I often think that this attitude is not commonly reciprocated, but then again I am not doing anything for recognition. I do not need a cheap pat on the back. I think, though, that this has just always been a way of life for me. It is funny to recollect on the past ;)

I have been listening to a lot of pretty music lately- I need to become a wonderful musician in my spare time. Crazy that something like that can be so capturing. It makes me think, mostly about people. How I have good friends, how I miss a bunch of them. How much I adore my Husband and the company he provides me. How much children make me smile. How much I miss Shea who has relocated to Germany... I like people.